Recently my brother and I were talking about his band and some of the troubles they have had forging a unified idea of what kind of band they would be and managing expectations about success, playing out and ‘ownership’. Anytime you talk to someone who is in a real band, they will talk some about the music and the sound, but push a little more and you will uncover some hard-felt anxieties and hurt feelings about serious issues like who comes late to rehearsal and who lugs the most band equipment.
See, as I told my brother, most bands fail. And they don’t fail because of lack of success (although that will almost always happen) but they fail because they are based on human relationships and uneven expectations. Just as romantic relationships thrive on desire and sex but founder on garbage day and dishes, so too the most beautiful harmonies are shattered by the mundane details of schedules, personality tics, and whose turn it is to wake up the drummer.